we have a deep psychological need to be accepted as we really are.
we conceal aspects of ourselves that we think invite rejection but ironically the very act of secrecy makes us inaccessible to love.

this emotional disconnection is so intolerable we often end up seeking comfort in destructive ways i.e. addicts
experience loving acceptance and ultimately heal
*
"Confession is risky. Some people really may reject you if you claim your whole identity and tell your whole story. But, explicityly losing those people is no more horrible than keeping them - sort of - at the cost of your integrity.

Besides, there are probably fewer of them than you think.

Love has sharp insight indeed a nd the people who love you aren't fooled by whatever masks you wear. They sense when you hide things and become frustrated by the inability to connect.

By giving the people that you care about the chance to love you as you are, everyone will benefit."

-- jun 02, martha beck, oprah mag